Galations 5: 22-23 tells us of the fruits of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A list of qualities that the Holy Spirit produces in the lives of those who follow Christ. But they don't magically appear. They come by prayer and hard work on our part. When we draw near to the Father, the Holy Spirit dwells within us and we receive the characteristics we strive for.

Recently, my faith was in a slump. I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing and I wasn't progressing. I was frustrated and scared. I had always been confident in my faith and despite minor dips every once in a while, I always found that "Jesus high" as some would call it. So I waited. I prayed, halfheartedly. I read the Bible - sometimes - and mostly because I felt obligated to. I thought, "Well, hey, I'm supposed to read. If I read a little every day I'm sure my heart will jet right back up to par." Needless to say, I didn't progress. I wasn't striving.

So I met with Christine, who meets with me every other week, to discuss my Walk. I told her that in the midst of my problem, there was a tug of war. Love. It was hard for me to love people and love God. But that's the greatest commandment, right? I felt low. Really low. I was struggling with the greatest commandment! I couldn't find a balance. Either i devoted all of my love to people or all of my love to God. I felt a little hopeless.

So Christine told me to only study scripture on love for about a month. I prayed that God would teach me, start from the beginning. Help to understand the greatest commandments. (Matthew 22: 36-40)

And He is.

I'm a firm believer that there is something to learn from every situation. My lesson about love comes from sickness.

My boyfriend is sick. With what? I don't know. Either do the doctors. He's not like "laying-in-bed-dying" sick. Just aches and pains, constantly. And coughing up blood. At one point we realized that he had the symptoms of a treatable, but still frightening, cancer. He scheduled a doctors appointment for the next week, but for a few days I walked around and felt like my head was spinning. I tried to think of other things but satan whispered in my ear, "What if...what if...what if....cancer? Cancer....what if?" I assured him that if that was the case, that I would be right beside him the whole way. I told him...

"Because I love you."

I prayed. I begged. I pleaded with God. I pursued Him. I read my Bible. I felt close to Him again. I didn't question Him. I never asked, "Why?" I remained confident that my God would protect my heart and take care of the situation. I told God that whatever happened, however bad it hurt, I would trust that He knows what is best for my life. I told Him...

"Because I love You."

It's not cancer, praise the Lord. But it made me realize three important things.

1. No matter what situation I face, there is nothing that overcomes God. My love for my Father should go far above any situation, any fear, any period of apathy.

2. There should be no conditions in loving people. No matter what obstacle the world throws at us, there should be nothing that overcomes love. "I'll be by your side every step of the way, because I love you." should echo through every situation, not just life threatening ones.

3. Loving God and loving people go hand in hand. From one, you learn the other.

God doesn't ever half-teach somebody a lesson. It's always a full blown, "you get what you ask for", kind of lesson. I asked God to teach me about love and He proved faithful as He always has done and always will do. Even though it was a scary ride, it jump-started my heart to pursue loving God and loving others.

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. -- Corinthians 13:13 (The Message)

-ash.