Have you ever had that feeling when you realize that something isn't what you thought it was? Or you think you know the whole situation but in reality you only know a certain portion.

You know those lamps that have the twisty knob that turns the light on? For me, I automatically associate them with hotel rooms. I get into the room and try to turn on the lamp, but the knob is hidden at the top under the lamp shade. After struggling with luggage in one hand and fighting with a stuck knob with the other I finally get the light on. I'm relieved to have light, even though it seems a little dim. Before I leave my room I go to the lamp and find the stubborn knob to turn it off, but I discover that it wasn't even on all the way. The lamp had two more settings, each brighter than the one before! I thought the lamp was just faint and that's all there was to know about it. Wrong.

Have you ever done this with your Walk with God?

I have.

I'm reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Great book. Chan encourages his reader to really focus in on who God really, truly is before they continue their Walk. As I did this, I realized that my lamp was dim. I thought I knew what it was to follow Christ, but actually, I knew what it was to be a lukewarm Christian.

I've heard many times that people are supposed to fear God. For a while I thought, "Well, why? Why should I fear the God that loves me and wants me to prosper? Should I fear Him in a way that separates me from Him? Should I shrink away?" That sounded crazy to me. For a while I put the questions completely out of my mind and I paid no attention to my confusion. It wasn't until lately, as I prayed for Him to refine me, that I was shown what it meant to be God fearing.

Matthew 3:7-10 grabbed my attention:

"But when he saw many Pharisees and Sadducees coming to watch him baptize, he denounced them. "You brood of snakes! he exclaimed. "Who warned you to flee God's coming wrath? Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don't just say to each other, "We're safe, for we are descendants of Abraham." That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones. Even now the ax of God's judgement is poised, ready to sever the roots of the trees. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire."

"Even now the ax of God's judgement is poised, ready to sever the roots of the trees. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire."

For a long time I fell into a trap. I loved God. I worshiped God. I knew Christ died for my sins and I knew that the only way to the Father was through Christ. I said, "I'm safe, I'm a descendant of Abraham." I thought maybe I was bearing good fruit. But was it as much as I was supposed to? Really, when I got to the bottom of it, I had to wonder if I was really bearing any good fruit at all. I mean, church, youth group, worship team...all good things. But was I really progressing and working to produce good fruit? "Well," I thought, "no fruit is better than bad fruit, right?" Uhh, let's skip to chapter 21 of Matthew.

"In the morning, as Jesus was returning to Jerusalem, he was hungry, and he noticed a fig tree beside the road. He went over to see if there were any figs, but there were only leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" And immediately the fig tree withered up."

Jesus acted out his parable in this case. Trees that bear no fruit have no better fate than trees with bad fruit.

That scared me.

I realized that if I ignore what I'm called to be, and I ignore the lessons that Jesus taught, even though I acknowledge my Savior, He won't know me.

As I fall in love more and more with who God is, I realize that love paired with fear is powerful. Like the lamp, when more light is added to the dim light, it's easier to see. I fear God for His power. He can wither anyone he wants in a matter of seconds. Seconds. As a daughter of the King, I am called to spread His love into the world, making desciples in all of the nations. The consequences of acknowledging what Christ did for me and not sharing that with others are severe.

I'm the daughter of a King who loves me deeply. Enough to send His Son to die for every time I've screwed up. I respect and fear the power He posesses and for the reasons of love, respect and fear I will serve my God and others and follow Christ's teachings all of my days.