For the past week I have had the blessing of being able to travel with my boyfriends family through the southwestern states. For some, car rides are exceptionally boring but between the scenery and searching for "Q's" while playing the alphabet game, the journey was quite enjoyable. It was even more delightful to be around people I love who love me too. While we were on our adventure, we made a few stops that took my breathe and boggled my mind.

The first stop was the planetarium in Flagstaff, Arizona. The first thing we did when we arrived was watch a galactic film. It was a film showing how stars are made and galaxies beyond our own and how black holes work. After that we looked into a telescope that magnified stars that are 26 thousand light years away. As if that wasn't powerful enough, we saw the rings of Saturn. I was completely taken back by the glory that I was seeing. My human mind just could not contain the thought that that's just a tiny part of it. God's art work continually takes form in the sky farther than our eyes will ever see! And when I think of how big and how glorious the heavens are, I find myself asking the same question that David did when he wrote Psalm 8.

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"

I feel as though the stars and the planets and the mystery of it all proves the greatness of our God. I also believe that what He has created is a love song that sings straight to the hearts of those who love Him. God has created all of the beauty of the earth and all of the glory of the sky. I don't think it's selfish to believe that He created it for each of us. As humans, when we see something so mysterious and wonderful it causes us to marvel at who God is and how HUGE He is. As He sings this love song to us through His art all around us, we sing love songs back to Him for all He has created.

The next day, we went to the Grand Canyon. Now, my biggest fear is heights. I had no idea what to expect when I realized I'd be standing on a cliff looking straight down. But the first glimpse of it put my mind at ease. It was beautiful. There wasn't room for fear when I was too busy thinking about how God created that with the brush of His hand. As we hiked down into part of the Canyon and walked around admiring all of the viewpoints, a song was stuck in my head.

"How wide, how deep, how great, is Your love for me. Lord, I'm amazed by You. Lord, I'm amazed by You. Lord, I'm amazed by You. How You love me."

God's creation was a love song straight to my heart. The song lead me to the Scripture it was inspired by....

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Ephesians 3:14-21

These verses have always spoken to my heart, but through this vacation God has given me examples of how wide, how long, how high and how deep His love is and as Paul did, I pray that all of Gods people understand that same love.

-ash.

Have you ever had that feeling when you realize that something isn't what you thought it was? Or you think you know the whole situation but in reality you only know a certain portion.

You know those lamps that have the twisty knob that turns the light on? For me, I automatically associate them with hotel rooms. I get into the room and try to turn on the lamp, but the knob is hidden at the top under the lamp shade. After struggling with luggage in one hand and fighting with a stuck knob with the other I finally get the light on. I'm relieved to have light, even though it seems a little dim. Before I leave my room I go to the lamp and find the stubborn knob to turn it off, but I discover that it wasn't even on all the way. The lamp had two more settings, each brighter than the one before! I thought the lamp was just faint and that's all there was to know about it. Wrong.

Have you ever done this with your Walk with God?

I have.

I'm reading a book called "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan. Great book. Chan encourages his reader to really focus in on who God really, truly is before they continue their Walk. As I did this, I realized that my lamp was dim. I thought I knew what it was to follow Christ, but actually, I knew what it was to be a lukewarm Christian.

I've heard many times that people are supposed to fear God. For a while I thought, "Well, why? Why should I fear the God that loves me and wants me to prosper? Should I fear Him in a way that separates me from Him? Should I shrink away?" That sounded crazy to me. For a while I put the questions completely out of my mind and I paid no attention to my confusion. It wasn't until lately, as I prayed for Him to refine me, that I was shown what it meant to be God fearing.

Matthew 3:7-10 grabbed my attention:

"But when he saw many Pharisees and Sadducees coming to watch him baptize, he denounced them. "You brood of snakes! he exclaimed. "Who warned you to flee God's coming wrath? Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. Don't just say to each other, "We're safe, for we are descendants of Abraham." That means nothing, for I tell you, God can create children of Abraham from these very stones. Even now the ax of God's judgement is poised, ready to sever the roots of the trees. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire."

"Even now the ax of God's judgement is poised, ready to sever the roots of the trees. Yes, every tree that does not produce good fruit will be chopped down and thrown into the fire."

For a long time I fell into a trap. I loved God. I worshiped God. I knew Christ died for my sins and I knew that the only way to the Father was through Christ. I said, "I'm safe, I'm a descendant of Abraham." I thought maybe I was bearing good fruit. But was it as much as I was supposed to? Really, when I got to the bottom of it, I had to wonder if I was really bearing any good fruit at all. I mean, church, youth group, worship team...all good things. But was I really progressing and working to produce good fruit? "Well," I thought, "no fruit is better than bad fruit, right?" Uhh, let's skip to chapter 21 of Matthew.

"In the morning, as Jesus was returning to Jerusalem, he was hungry, and he noticed a fig tree beside the road. He went over to see if there were any figs, but there were only leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" And immediately the fig tree withered up."

Jesus acted out his parable in this case. Trees that bear no fruit have no better fate than trees with bad fruit.

That scared me.

I realized that if I ignore what I'm called to be, and I ignore the lessons that Jesus taught, even though I acknowledge my Savior, He won't know me.

As I fall in love more and more with who God is, I realize that love paired with fear is powerful. Like the lamp, when more light is added to the dim light, it's easier to see. I fear God for His power. He can wither anyone he wants in a matter of seconds. Seconds. As a daughter of the King, I am called to spread His love into the world, making desciples in all of the nations. The consequences of acknowledging what Christ did for me and not sharing that with others are severe.

I'm the daughter of a King who loves me deeply. Enough to send His Son to die for every time I've screwed up. I respect and fear the power He posesses and for the reasons of love, respect and fear I will serve my God and others and follow Christ's teachings all of my days.

This past weekend, I went to a three day camp put on by my youth leaders. It was absolutely gorgeous. We were near Beulah in the beautiful mountains and it was just so refreshing to be distanced from everyday life. I learned quite a few things at this camp...

1. High school girls aren't always chatty and obnoxious....in fact, my cabin chose to take naps for just about any cabin time we had.

2. Pine cones can be very effective weapons.

3. A bear probably won't hang around the high school girl's cabin for an hour and a half grunting, scratching on windows and banging on the walls....but the leaders of the Oasis Christian Church WILL just to hear the screeching.

4. If you are in the mountains and fear that there may be a bear around your cabin at 11:00p.m., make sure you don't put fruity facial masks on. It will only increase the fears.

But really, there was a lot to take away from "Compete for the Crown" Summer Camp. Our theme verse was James 1:12. "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." The speakers of the camp did a great job of inspiring the youth to be proactive in their race for the Crown.

What really grabbed hold of my heart though, was the real way that God was present and working in people's hearts.

The first day was slightly awkward. It seems like our high school group has always had a way of being a little awkward around each other. None of us have really wanted to open up to each other. So when we gathered in a circle in the rec hall for the first time for our small group discussion....there wasn't too much eager interaction within the group. We weren't the type of group to spill out our emotions and struggles for everyone to see. There was a lot of badgering in order for some people to even mutter a few words.

By the second day, those who were talkative, were even more willing to release opinions and experiences and those who were badgered the day before seemed a tad reluctant, but

opened up.

I had the privilege of leading worship while I was at the camp and that morning we sang a song called "Heart of Worship".

"When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus "

And isn't that the point? To me, it felt like the youth at the camp grasped the reason for being there. While the speakers and the worship were great and beneficial to our faiths, it was important that we got down to the root of why we were there. For God. The only way the lessons we learned there would stick was if we invited God in again and again to soften our hearts to them.

And I feel like God bridged a gap within our group when we realized that.

The third and final day, we circled up around the fire pit for our small group discussion. Many of us had admitted that we had a weakness in comfort. None of us were particularly willing to make ourselves vulnerable in order to create a strong fellowship that we would allow God to work through. But that last small group time, we all threw in our two cents. We all uncovered parts of our hearts that the others didn't know. And then we broke out into pairs and groups of three to discuss struggles and what we would take away from camp. And those discussions brought us all closer together. We were able to connect as a group and then connect even more intimately to discuss areas of our hearts that we don't usually let people see.

This wouldn't have been possible if God wasn't there. God was softening all of our hearts to connect to each other.

"God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

The devil wasn't able to continue to divide us as a group. Even though it may have been on different levels for all of us, it was a test to open up to each other. Sometimes it's difficult to admit faults in yourself or even be willing to dig to find those faults. But we all took steps in receiving the Crown of Life that God has promised us. By loving each other and being willing to relate to others and admit where we fall short, we were loving God. Because he was working in our hearts, we endured testing and temptation to draw into ourselves like we have done so many times before.

It was absolutely amazing to experience and be a part of God working in the lives of us high school students.

He is faithful to draw close to those who draw close to Him. The students at the camp drew close to God and God drew close to us. As a result we were able to draw close to each other.

-ash.

Galations 5: 22-23 tells us of the fruits of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. A list of qualities that the Holy Spirit produces in the lives of those who follow Christ. But they don't magically appear. They come by prayer and hard work on our part. When we draw near to the Father, the Holy Spirit dwells within us and we receive the characteristics we strive for.

Recently, my faith was in a slump. I didn't know where I was going, what I was doing and I wasn't progressing. I was frustrated and scared. I had always been confident in my faith and despite minor dips every once in a while, I always found that "Jesus high" as some would call it. So I waited. I prayed, halfheartedly. I read the Bible - sometimes - and mostly because I felt obligated to. I thought, "Well, hey, I'm supposed to read. If I read a little every day I'm sure my heart will jet right back up to par." Needless to say, I didn't progress. I wasn't striving.

So I met with Christine, who meets with me every other week, to discuss my Walk. I told her that in the midst of my problem, there was a tug of war. Love. It was hard for me to love people and love God. But that's the greatest commandment, right? I felt low. Really low. I was struggling with the greatest commandment! I couldn't find a balance. Either i devoted all of my love to people or all of my love to God. I felt a little hopeless.

So Christine told me to only study scripture on love for about a month. I prayed that God would teach me, start from the beginning. Help to understand the greatest commandments. (Matthew 22: 36-40)

And He is.

I'm a firm believer that there is something to learn from every situation. My lesson about love comes from sickness.

My boyfriend is sick. With what? I don't know. Either do the doctors. He's not like "laying-in-bed-dying" sick. Just aches and pains, constantly. And coughing up blood. At one point we realized that he had the symptoms of a treatable, but still frightening, cancer. He scheduled a doctors appointment for the next week, but for a few days I walked around and felt like my head was spinning. I tried to think of other things but satan whispered in my ear, "What if...what if...what if....cancer? Cancer....what if?" I assured him that if that was the case, that I would be right beside him the whole way. I told him...

"Because I love you."

I prayed. I begged. I pleaded with God. I pursued Him. I read my Bible. I felt close to Him again. I didn't question Him. I never asked, "Why?" I remained confident that my God would protect my heart and take care of the situation. I told God that whatever happened, however bad it hurt, I would trust that He knows what is best for my life. I told Him...

"Because I love You."

It's not cancer, praise the Lord. But it made me realize three important things.

1. No matter what situation I face, there is nothing that overcomes God. My love for my Father should go far above any situation, any fear, any period of apathy.

2. There should be no conditions in loving people. No matter what obstacle the world throws at us, there should be nothing that overcomes love. "I'll be by your side every step of the way, because I love you." should echo through every situation, not just life threatening ones.

3. Loving God and loving people go hand in hand. From one, you learn the other.

God doesn't ever half-teach somebody a lesson. It's always a full blown, "you get what you ask for", kind of lesson. I asked God to teach me about love and He proved faithful as He always has done and always will do. Even though it was a scary ride, it jump-started my heart to pursue loving God and loving others.

Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. -- Corinthians 13:13 (The Message)

-ash.